Who hasn’t read, at one time or another, the statistics regarding the prevalence of infidelity? Who among us, if ever suspicious of our spouse, hasn’t stumbled upon one of a thousand lists of “Signs Of A Cheating Spouse” that are so prevalent on the Internet these days?
Never mind statistics – those are based on numbers involving other people. And “Signs Of A Cheating Spouse”, by themselves, do not prove anything. What we don’t find, read, or hear much about is – “What should I do if I suspect that my spouse is cheating?”
As a Private Detective who’s worked with thousands of people throughout the years, many regarding their suspicions of infidelity, I’d like to offer just a few suggestions:
Keep an open mind. Most of the “tell-tale” signs of a cheating spouse that populate the Internet today can be plausibly explained by factors that have nothing to do with an affair. Even seemingly damning evidence can sometimes be plausibly explained. In one case of mine, a husband found another man’s underwear in his drawer and became distraught over this supposed evidence of his wife’s infidelity. In the end, that underwear was found to belong to my client’s father-in-law who had spent an evening in the couple’s home the weekend prior.
In my own practice, I’ve found that at least 25% of my clients have been wrong about their suspicions. These were clients that were relatively certain about the affair before they hired me. What I find, from time to time, is that “the other woman” is actually a bar stool at the local tavern, a buddy that the wife doesn’t want her husband to hang out with anymore, or even the slots at the local casino. On other occasions, the “cheating spouse” isn’t found to be cheating, but rather preparing to leave the marriage altogether.